Saturday, March 20, 2010

Saturday, March 20th

I have been in a bad mood lately. I have been short with my loved ones. I have been a bit disconnected. I have not been as joyful as I usually am.

Here is why: I have recognized some grave clothes that I now need to deal with. Lent, this book, well let’s just come out and say it… Jesus has caused me to have to look at my life and as I have done so, I have discovered some things that if I am going to grow into the person God wants me to be, I know I need to change. I have also discovered it isn’t going to be easy to do. In fact, it would be much easier just to avoid.

It’s easy to avoid stuff. I can just pretend that it’s not that important. Or I can pretend that I am too busy. Or I can say it’s not my fault. But when it comes down to it, if I want to heal, if I want to grow, if I want to talk off these particular grave clothes I have to change. Dang.

Here is a paraphrase of a prayer that I heard once. I don’t even know who originally said it. But I like it and it seems a good first step:

Lord, I don’t want to change. I don’t even want to want to change. But Lord, I want to want to want to change and I pray this is enough for you to work with. Amen.

Pastor Tim

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